The Politics of ...

The Politics of ...

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

A Cunningly Evil Plan

George Osborne has a cunning plan; unlike Baldrick though, this plan will probably work...

There seems to be a general consensus, although not particularly being publicly stated, that Milliband will probably be the next PM. It appears that he won’t win it, but the others will lose it, so he will end up in charge of the country because people will punish the Coalition for the austerity measures, which, of course, the Coalition will tell you was Labour’s fault in the first place. The one overriding thing I have deciphered from all of this is: as a country, we’re pretty much always going to be in debt, so it’s about managing it rather than getting rid of it.

I said many moons ago that Osborne’s plan was to dismantle the Welfare State (something he clearly finds an anathema) while ensuring his own position in the history books. He would either be forgotten like so many other Tory chancellors, or remembered as the man who ultimately saved the country from going bankrupt and therefore he becomes the only logical replacement for David Cameron and we get the Tory version of the Blair/Brown problem all over again.

We’re all now painfully aware that the budget deficit could be wiped out if everyone not paying tax were to pay it; yet someone very close to me isn’t chasing up corporations for millions, she’s chasing up the likes of you and me for a few hundred or thousand quid. Yes, it needs to be done; we can’t have people like you and me possibly not paying everything we have to, so why not Amazon, Starbucks, O2...? The list, I’m sorry to say, is pretty much endless. There’s a new tax dodger being unveiled every week, it seems.

With Cameron pretty much resigned to trying to defend his own image – he seems to have given up trying to defend IDS, Gove, Schapps, Hunt and every other screw up in ministerial residence – because he kind of hopes that he’ll have a future somewhere. His idol, Blair, is a high paid ‘diplomat’, Cameron doesn’t need the money, but he does like the spotlight, so he’s doing what he can to keep the sheen on his armour, he lets Gideon make his power plays and watches his hopeless MPs continually insert their feet into their mouths. Milliband would need to be in Jimmy Savile’s league to not be elected now and he will inherit a country that hasn’t got any money to change things back and why would he want to anyhow? It is too expensive being an average country in 2014; it is a thankless task to run a ‘business’ that is only still running because it can’t be run by someone else.

We hear about nationalising the rail network again – how much is that going to cost?

We talk about kicking out all the foreigners – who’s going to clean your public toilets and dispose of all the waste from our hospitals, or pick our fruit, or build extensions better and cheaper than cowboy British builders?

We want out of Europe – but no one has bothered to point out just how much we’ll lose by doing that.

In fact, the Tories have been astutely brilliant. They have rather incompetently run the country, with their hapless sidekick, but have not alienated everyone the way Melvyn King believed the incumbent government might; this means they can continue to undermine the next government; make it impossible to change without thrusting back into a deficit, so that Labour can’t change all the changes and they end up getting the blame and being unelectable for a generation and Osborne can come in as the Tory PM and tell everyone how well he did considering and he can then completely dismantle the country and turn us into a country of haves and will never haves.

The only thing about the current regime that truly bothers me is the way they’re victimising the disabled. We often joke that the best outcome for Tories would be to kill off all the ‘scroungers’, but it seems that this actually is the covert intention. This could be the thing they’re using to ensure they don’t get elected; but of all the welfare reforms this is the one that stinks the worst. If 0.6% of claimants of DLA are fraudulent, why punish the 99.4% who aren’t trying it on? The disabled are a small percentage of voters and at the last election estimates suggested as many as 60% don’t vote for varying reasons ranging from disillusionment to being unable to get to the polling station... So basically they are an easy target. That is almost like Nazism.

Osborne obviously fancies a slightly Aryan future, but maybe with brunettes rather than blonds.

Just remember, none of the political parties are actually going to do much for you that you will wholeheartedly agree with. In 25 years time, the concept of ‘social justice’ will be as alien as Marxism – which, of course, is the only really truly socially acceptable form of government. Whoever you vote for, it’s only going to get better for you if you’re one of the top 20% of earners – and very few of them don’t vote Conservative.

We are all going to die, but with George Osborne’s help we’ll die a lot unhappier and without two ha’pennies to rub together...