For someone who isn't going to vote for Jeremy Corbyn (or the Labour Party) at the general election, I seem to be banging on about him an awful lot.
Well, it's got a lot to do with the fact that despite my Scottish and Welsh roots, I was born in England and I do care about my friends (and some of my family) and what some of them might face with the prospect of an electorate being conned into voting for the same old shit.
The thing about Corbyn is now quite simple; he is the Marmite candidate. You either like him or dislike him. All kinds of reasons are given on both sides, but few people are ambivalent. As a vegetarian, Marmite is something I look at with fondness as a flavour enhancer; as a way of giving a soup or a stew an oomph; a depth that sometimes is lacking in certain veggie dishes. I could never have it on toast, or in a sandwich or however straight Marmite eaters have it. No way, Jose.
Corbyn barely registers on the same middle ground and over the last few years, where there has been those ambivalent about him, but cared about the Party or a fairer society, they have been gradually eroded, one way but most likely the other. This election for me, won't be remembered for the early running gaffs or blatant lies, smears and US Presidential-like insults; it will be remembered for this and various versions: Yes, but Corbyn.
Look, it doesn't matter what I or any other person says to people who use that phrase. It's simply a case of personal expression, belief and taste, three of the main things that make up opinion and the opinion of Jeremy Corbyn among some is that he's bad for the country, even if there isn't really any verifiable evidence to prove this. There are those who view him as the second coming; mainly down to the belief that a properly-run left wing government will not repeat the mistakes of their Third-World counterparts; a fairer society for all means a happier society - it aint rocket science.
Those who sit in the middle, the very small amount now, don't really give a fig about him, per se. He's just the bloke who, if elected, would instruct the rest of his team to get on with running the country. Regardless of what people think, while many things have to pass over the PM's desk for approval, a good PM delegates without impunity to the ministers he trusts - provided, of course, they don't make any universal blunders.
People sometimes want to know what a political party is going to do for the country as well as themselves, despite the fact we're learning very quickly how not to care. If Corbyn was PM, what part of him wanting a fairer society for the 99% doesn't include you? Personally, I think it's a terrible indictment of our society at the moment that the man who is offering HOPE is dangerous and the man who is literally offering us BLAH BLAH BLAH is a hero. History may well look back on this era and wonder what on Earth we were thinking or how it came to be like this.
But back to Corbyn, because I have a strategy that he wouldn't touch in a million years. A way of maybe winning some of the idiots onto his side. We know that banging on about policies works to a certain point, but there's a ceiling when you start meeting resistance from the 'Yeah, but...' loose-affiliation. They don't care if you were offering the country free sex, so trying to persuade people who ignored economics in the Leave the EU vote thing aren't going to be swayed by common sense and maths now. Are they?
Corbyn needs to ditch the nice guy act, mainly because his nice guy persona isn't believed by the cockwombles. They believe his refusal to entertain 'political pop culture' questions is a sign of his weaknesses. The logic behind he doesn't sink to his rivals' levels means he must have even more to hide simply wouldn't wash if people hadn't already been brainwashed about what a threat to society a 70-year old nice man with an allotment is. What he needs to do is start going on the offensive in a personal way (and we all know he won't and he'll lose). He needs to start saying stuff like, 'If I was a terrorist sympathiser would MI5 let me run a political party?' or 'Since when did a member of the Privy Council also have terrorist links?' or 'I was part of the team that helped forge the Good Friday Agreement; was I supposed to do that without meeting all sides?' ... But he probably won't.
He needs to start calling out the BBC for its apparent bias.
He needs to start asking questions instead of answering them; like why isn't the press talking about Tory Islamophobia? Why is there never any real evidence given of antisemitism - just the constant allegation without ever any substance or examples?
He needs to start pointing out some of Johnson's lesser credentials; mention his 'illegitimate' kids, his record in office, especially during the downfall of May, the money the man wasted as London mayor, his dodgy dealings in the FO, his racist-tinged journalism, his colourful metaphors to describe anyone who isn't a Tory voter.
The mud is being flung all from one direction, it's time to start throwing it back. The electorate probably could get behind a good fight; let's have Labour fighting back against bias and smears. Let's have them stop TV journalists from stopping them from ever finishing a point; shut. them. down! Point out that they do not interrupt the Conservatives, so pay them the respect they deserve. Don't stand there looking like you want to explode but sticking with the policy of defend and don't attack back. That doesn't work; idiots think you're hiding something!
He needs to start asking members of the public the questions they sometimes stupidly ask him. If some gammon in the Question Time audience wants to know if he'd push the nuclear button if everyone else is; he shouldn't try to reason with him, he should simply say, 'Yes, I'd make sure that you and all your friends and family would be wiped out just as quickly as everyone else as we destroy the planet. Is that what you'd like? Is that what you want from a PM? To destroy the planet so you can feel safe on it?'
It's time they said bollocks to playing fair and go for the goolies. This is probably going to be the end of democracy as we know it if the Tories get in again. Enjoy voting while you had the chance; there'll be no point crying about it when it's taken from you.